This afternoon, I go to Wendy's with DJ and Jake, right? And there's a woman working behind the counter. And she's detached and rude and all that. Like she asks me if I want to "Biggie Size" my meal, but she says it really slurry and doesn't look at me. She obviously doesn't care about my patronage. Same thing happens when she asks me if I want cheese on my burger. So I look to Jake like, "Get a load of this lady. How rude is this, huh?"

Eventually though, I get over it. I think about how I'd probably be rude and mean, too, if I had to work at Wendy's and serve people who just come in and need and want and need, need, need. The world of labor sucks and she's feeling the brunt end of it. So yeah. Be rude, lady. More power to you.

But still, show some politeness for gosh sakes.

Cut to five hours later...

I'm standing at the register at Wal-Mart, buying a UV light and an extension cord for "Wet Cotton Penny" (what an awful title) and this lady who is working starts freaking me out... because whenever she asks me a question, she makes complete eye contact with me. And she asks them really earnestly.

"Did you find everything alright?" the lady asks - her eyes burning with unchecked intensity.

"Yeah."

"Do you have any questions?" (her eyes NEVER LEAVING my own)

"Nope."

And when she hands me my change, she just keeps staring at me while making more and more insanely genuine comments. And I'm thinking, "Jesus, lady. Calm down. This is exchanging money at Wal-Mart, not... you know, donating bone marrow at the Mayo clinic."

So...

Moral of the story: If you serve me, show me some compassion.

OR:

Moral of the story: If you serve me, show me no compassion.

These are my rules!