Wednesday, February 27, 2008


Last week, I received some exciting news about a role in a movie. And today, it was officially announced in Variety.

You can read about it online here

Next Monday, I leave for Vancouver - where I'll be shooting until the end of May. I'm really excited!

If you'd like, you can catch me in a couple shows before I leave LA:

LAST DAY OF SCHOOL (long-form improv)
Friday, February 29 - 11pm
UCB THEATRE (5919 Franklin Ave - Los Angeles)

Friday, February 29 - midnight
UCB THEATRE (5919 Franklin Ave - Los Angeles)


Sunday, February 17, 2008

Did you hear the latest entertainment news? The San Diego Zoo bought the rights to all of Clint Eastwood's movies (just the ones he starred in).

Now they're remaking each and every one... with their own San Diego Zoo-style twist!

Here's a list of all the San Diego Zoo's upcoming Clint Eastwood remakes:

1. A Fistful of Dollars = A Fistful of Dolphins
2. For a Few Dollars More = For a Few Dolphins More
3. The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly = The Good, The Bat, and the Ugly
4. Paint Your Wagon = Paint Your Waggin' Tail
5. Play Misty for Me = Play Misty for Me-erkat
6. Dirty Harry = Dirty HAIRy
7. High Plains Drifter = High Plains Dragon (note: they now have dragons at the zoo)
8. Magnum Force = Magnum Four-ce (note: because animals often have 4 legs)
9. Thunderbolt and Lightfoot = Tiger-bear and Lice-fox
10. The Outlaw Josey Wales = The Outlaw Josey WHales
11. The Enforcer = The En-FOUR-cer (note: again, animals have 4 legs)
12. The Gauntlet = The Gaunt-lettuce (note: turtles eat lettuce)
13. Any Which Way But Loose = Any Which Way But Goose
14. Escape from Alcatraz = Escape from Al-CAT-raz
15. Bronco Billy = Bronco (Like, A Horse) Billy
16. Any Which Way You Can = Any Which Way You Tou-can
17. Firefox = Fire-hippo
18. Honkytonk Man = Honkytonk Man-atee
19. Sudden Impact = Sudden Impact: This Time, The Detective is a Cheetah
20. Tightrope = Tig(er)htrope
21. Two Mules for Sister Sara = Two Saras for Sister Mule
22. City Heat = Horsey Heat
23. Pale Rider = Pail Rider
24. Heartbreak Ridge = Heart-beak Ridge
25. The Dead Pool = The Dread Pool (note: an elephant has never had dreadlocks)
26. Pink Cadillac = Pink Caddyshack
27. White Hunter Black Heart = White Horse Black Horse is a Zebra
28. The Rookie = The Cookie
29. Unforgiven = UnFOURgiven (note: animals still often have four legs)
30. In the Line of Fire = In the Lion of Walrus
31. A Perfect World = A Purrrr-fect Kitty
32. The Bridges of Madison County = The Bridges of Madison Bloom County Characters
33. Absolute Power = Absolut Vodka Has Probably Featured an Animal in Their Ads Before, I Bet
34. True Crime = True Donkey
35. Space Cowboys = Young Guns 2
36. Blood Work = Blood Work
37. Million Dollar Baby = Million Dolphin Baby

I won't be able to see any of these movies because they're rated R and mommy won't allow me to see them.

Friday, February 01, 2008

When I was 9 years old, a friend of mine and I were watching Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade at his house. Halfway into the movie, my friend's mom came into the living room and started watching it with us.

She had never seen it before, so without describing the end of the film, we warned her that it contained a scene she might not want to stick around and watch (referring to the scary climax when the villain drinks from the wrong cup and rapidly turns into a corpse).

And she goes, "Why? Is there nudity?"


I ask you: What grown woman thinks an Indiana Jones movie would end with nudity?

I am VERY curious what sort of scenario she cooked up that could justify nudity in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. Maybe she thought after finding the Holy Grail, Indiana Jones travels to a nearby high school, disguises himself as a female gym teacher and watches some girls shower? Or maybe before getting on his horse to ride of onto the sunset in the final shot, Indiana Jones turns to the camera and moons the audience?

Or shows his penis to the audience?

"One last peek before I go," Indiana Jones would say to camera, winking and smiling.

Needless to say, my fingers are crossed that my friend's mom did some uncredited script-doctoring on the forthcoming Indiana Jones 4 and that it will indeed end with an extreme close-up of Indiana Jones' genitals.