Saturday, August 27, 2005

Last Tuesday, I visited my buddy John and his family in Omaha. After a yummy pizza dinner cooked up by Denise... John and me and his two kids - Isaiah (6 years) and Annora (18 months) - went to the park.

While at the park, Isaiah says to me: "Paul, you're going to be a Hollywood actor."

I - both embarrassed by the compliment and obligated to be modest - replied: "No, no, no, Isaiah. I don't think so."

Then there was some silence. Awkward. Silence.

And then it hits me.

Little, 6-year-old Isaiah had said: "Paul, I'm going to be a Hollywood actor."

I had effectively crushed the dreams of a small child.


Lesson learned? Never ever be modest.

Monday, August 15, 2005

For the past couple days, I've been moving into a new apartment, which I'll be sharing with my spectacular roomies Adam and Ellen.

Before moving into the apartment, I was required by management to answer a questionairre, which included these 2 questions:

1) Who should be contacted in the event of your death?
2) Do you own a waterbed?

These folks know what they want.

Also, in a couple days, I'm heading up to Oakland for my sister Amy and Scott's wedding (a future blog, I'm sure!). And then soon after, it's off to Iowa for the wedding reception. I'll be in Iowa from 22nd to the 30th. I'm looking forward to the trip.

Have YOU been looking forward to a long-delayed "Celebrity Cited" List? I hope so...

1. Dave "Gruber" Allen (Monday, August 30th, 2004)
2. Gedde Watanabe (Tuesday, September 14th, 2004)
3. Joey Pantoliano (Sunday, September 19th, 2004)
4. Patrick Renna (Monday, September 20th, 2004)
5. Randy Jackson (Tuesday, September 21st, 2004)
6. Richard Riehle (Monday, October 4th, 2004)
7. Dwier Brown (Saturday, October 16th, 2004)
8. Betsy Randle (Saturday, October 16th, 2004)
9. Michael J. Anderson (Saturday, October 16th, 2004)
10. Rider Strong (Monday, October 25th, 2004)
11. Heather Graham (Monday, October 25th, 2004)
12. Andy Berman (Friday, October 29th, 2004)
13. David Spade (Tuesday, November 9th, 2004)
14. Henry Winkler (Friday, December 10th, 2004)
15. Joe Elliott (Sunday, January 2nd, 2005)
16. Glenn Danzig (Saturday, January 22nd, 2005)
17. Jay Leno (Thursday, January 27th, 2005)
18. David Cross (Wednesday, February 16th, 2005)
19. Steve Guttenberg (Thursday, February 17th, 2005)
20. Bob Saget (Thursday, February 17th, 2005)
21. Bob Odenkirk (Thursday, February 24th, 2005)
22. Mike White (Friday, February 25th, 2005)
23. Anne Meara (Monday, February 28th, 2005)
24. Curtis Armstrong (Saturday, March 5th, 2005)
25. Chris Rock (Thursday, March 17th, 2005)
26. Michael McDonald (Thursday, March 17th, 2005)
27. David Krumholtz (Saturday, March 19th, 2005)
28. Robert Forster (Sunday, March 20th, 2005)
29. Michael Colton (Monday, March 28th, 2005)
30. John Aboud (Monday, March 28th, 2005)
31. Jack Black (Monday, March 28th, 2005)
32. Jason Lee (Thursday, April 14th, 2005)
33. Peter Bonerz (Monday, April 25th, 2005)
34. David Lovering (Monday, April 25th, 2005)
35. Ricki Lake (Tuesday, May 24th, 2005)
36. Marissa Jaret Winokur (Saturday, June 18th, 2005)
37. Jason Marsden (Thursday, June 30th, 2005)
38. Ben Foster (Tuesday, July 12th, 2005)
39. Ione Skye (Tuesday, July 12th, 2005)
40. Taylor Hawkins (Friday, July 22nd, 2005)
41. Paul Scheer (Friday, July 29th, 2005)
42. John C. Reilly (Saturday, August 6th, 2005)
43. Paul Thomas Anderson (Saturday, August 6th, 2005)
44. Sean Hayes (Saturday, August 13th, 2005)
45. Will Arnett (Saturday, August 13th, 2005)

Best Week Ever's Paul Scheer was spotted attending a play.

John C. Reilly and Paul Thomas Anderson dropped by backstage at "The Tomorrow Show." Me and a fellow performer "played it casual" - keeping our distance from Reilly and Anderson... to chat about the differences between Pop Tarts and Toast 'Ems.

Sean Hayes and Will Arnett were in attendance for Saturday night's "Asssscat" show at the UCB Theatre.

In case there's any confusion for those of you new to the "Celebrity Cited" list, a celebrity is "spotted" if they are NOT a participant (i.e. featured performer, musician, etc.) in the event, but rather, an outside spectator. EXAMPLE: If I went to a Prince concert and I spotted Ted Danson standing behind me - only Mr. Danson would be considered a "celebrity cited" (not Prince). Got it? Good. We don't want any confusion.

Saturday, August 06, 2005

List 20 people you know in no particular order

1. Amy Rust
2. Scott Ferguson
3. Anne Rust
4. John Henry Muller
5. Ryan Dirksen
6. Michele Thomspon
7. Mr. Fox
8. Spencer Griffin
9. Steve Anthony
10. Mrs. Patera
11. Jake Livermore
12. Chris Stangl
13. Brian Kessler
14. DJ Ruden
15. Mike Cassady
16. Emily Yoshida
17. Steve Heuertz
18. Neil Campbell
19. Mom
20. Dad

01. How did you meet 13?
Freshman year, Brian Kessler and I met at the University of Iowa. That's right: The Hawkeyes. Ever heard of him?

02. What would you do if you never met 5?
I would have never learned how to make a helicopter sound with my mouth (and all the other things you learn when you head to the circus in Sioux City - circa 1988).

03. Have you ever liked 3?
As a sister... yes, I have liked Anne Rust. But if you mean "like-like"... yes, we're getting married next Spring.

04. What do you honestly think of 10?
Mrs. Patera, my junior-high science teacher, is a very kind woman. When I was her student, some teenagers broke into the school, peed in her aquarium, and killed all her fish. My honest opinion of them? Jerks!

05. Would or did 19 and 8 go out?
Spencer Griffin travelled through time and from 1966 to 1968, he and my mom were steady boyfriend/girlfriend. However, with one single Homecoming Dance, Bob Rust - my father - changed all that. That devil.

06. If 1 died tomorrow, what is one thing that you would need him/her to know?
That my sister Amy shaped me into 90% of what I am today. I have a pie chart to prove it.

07. Would 2 and 11 make a good couple?
If Jake Livermore and my sister's fiancee Scott Ferguson couldn't make a good couple... then there's no hope for this world.

08. Describe 7 in 3 words:
Science! Science! Science!

09. Do you think 12 is hot?
I imagine Chris gets very warm in that black suit of his, yes. I tell him to wear green cargo shorts like me, but he refuses time and time again.

10. Would 1 and 17 ever go out?
If the time was right, Steve Heuertz and Amy Rust could go out. What time, exactly? Hmmm. How about... ANYTIME?!!

11. What do you think when you see 8?
"Should I tell Spencer that I like his beard? No. I'll write it on my blog at the appropriate time."

12. Tell me something humiliating about 11.
According to my mother, during a diaper-change as a baby, I accidentially took a bite of my own shit. For this, I have no right to judge others' behavior as "humiliating."

13. Do you know any of 6's family members?
I know the entire Michele Thompson clan. Dennis, Vicki, Mark, Mike, Mary. Nice folks all around. Meet 'em if you get the chance.

14. What's 20's favorite color?
Bob Rust has no favorite color. Why? In his words, "Why like just one note... when you can love a symphony?"

15. On a scale of 1-10 how cute is 14?
The ladies of the LeMars, Iowa Public Library agree: "11!"

16. What would you do if 4 just professed their undying love for you?
I'd tell his wife and two kids... THROUGH SONG!

17. What language does 19 speak?
Jeanne Rust speaks "The Language of Perfect Mothering."

18. Who is 18 going out with?
Jennifer Aniston... and Wedding Crashers' Vince Vaughn!

19. Does 2 have any siblings?
One sister. Sorry, fellas! She's married!

20. Would you ever date 7?
Better said: "Would I ever date Mr. Fox... again?"

21. Is 15 single?
Single? Maybe. Likes Pringles? Oh yeah!

22. What is 10's fantasy?
To catch those bastards who pissed in her aquarium.

23. What school does 16 go to?
"The School of Life." Ages: 0 and up (until you die).

24. Where does 9 live?
The surface of the moon.

25. Would you make out with 13?
No. Because I am not a homosexual.

26. How did you meet 15?
I met Mike Cassady at a snowboarding competition in 1991.

27. What grade is 17 in?
Grade A Cool!

28. When was the last time you talked to 12?
Thursday night. We never miss a Joey!

29. What is 3's favorite band?
Can't say for sure, but she did let me borrow her Aersomith "Get a Grip" album for quite some time.