One half-hour to kill before having to reserve equipment for "Wet Cotton" (new title!)... what will I do with myself? I know! I'll take a survey I stole from Sadie's web-blog.

A is for - Age: 22 (goin' on 66, y'all!)

B is for - Boyfriend/Girlfriend: No girlfriends for me. But a girlfriend for you? Surely!

C is for - Career in future: Makin' a series of karate/snuff films

D is for - Dad's name: Bob (see also: Robert/see also: "Rusty")

E is for - Essential item to bring to a party: I don't know what to bring, but I know what not to bring... your inhibitions! Check 'em at the door, pal!

F is for - Favorite song at the moment: "The Concept" by Teenage Fanclub. According to this song, a girl wears denim wherever she goes. And she's gonna' get some records by the status quo. The solo's so great, it makes you hate Teenage Fanclub!

G is for - Guys/Girls you've kissed: Geeze, survey! You sure are nosey! I mean, that's okay if that's who you are. I respect that. But I'm not really comfortable sharing such infor--- I've kissed 11 girls within the last 5 years!

H is for - Hometown: LeMars, Iowa! Ice Cream Yummy of the Tummy!

I is for - Instruments you play: Bass. The "vox." Some guitar. A little keys. And a whole lotta' love.

J is for - Job title: Resident Advisorrrrrr (writer's note: putting extra r's constitutes as a joke)

K is for - Kids: Are nicer/meaner than you.

L is for - Living arrangement: Alone. And in charge!

M is for - Mom's name: Jeanne (see also: Robert/see also: Rusty)

N is for - Number of people you've slept with: How many people are in Menudo?

O is for - Overnight hospital stays: NUN! (fingers crossed, knock on wood, bludgeon a mermaid)

P is for - Phobia[s]: Fear of failure (a.k.a. YOU-a-phobia)

Q is for - Quote you like: "The unexamined life is not worth living." EAT IT!

R is for - Relationship that lasted the longest: 2 years! But my relationship with McDonald's apple pies has been a long-standing love affair!

S is for - Sexual position: I like that this survey doesn't necessarily ask for your favorite or preferred sexual position. It just says "sexual position." Maybe it just wants me to ruminate on them in general. (pause) Who's skirting the issue? ME!

T is for - Time you wake up: Before you even think about it! (this is a quote from Steve Heuertz - maybe this should be my "quote you like")

U is for - Unique trait(s): Not throwing up since Spring of 1998. Johnny Muller stood beside me at the race-track.

V is for - Vegetable you love: SO MANY CHOICES!!!! Peas. Corn. Steamed carrots. They taste good and they make you poop like a machine.

W is for - Worst habit: Falling in love with you! But you know what? It's a habit I'd never want to break. Seriously.

X is for - X-rays you've had: It's July 3rd, 1989. Paul just broke his collarbone. Can't swim for the rest of the summer. Fortunately, "Batman" and "Ghost Busters 2" eases the pain.

Y is for - Yummy food you make: A plot of nay-chos

Z is for - Zuchinni for breakfast?: Shut up.

That was fun. Now it's off to the races! I put 75 dollars on White Oleander!

Sidenote: My friend Rick has been accepted into Stanford Law. Congratulations, Ricky!