My vote for tonight's "American Idol?"

Camille, of course!

She's the hottest and has the most distinctive voice. These are the qualities of your American Idol.

Yesterday, I bought some paper towels. They feature everyone's favorite Hallmark spokes-granny... Maxine! You know her. She's that old lady who spouts cranky quips. Such quips as:

1. "Thought about cleaning the house. But then I thought, what's the house done for me lately?"

2. "Life is like the lottery. Both are games of chance and both involve a lot of scratching."

3. "A woman's home is her hassle."

4. "A good mom lets you lick the beaters. A great mom turns the mixer off."

5. "If I had all the money I've spent on the lottery, it would be like winning the lottery."

Maxine's a compulsive gambler! Yaaaay!

I want their to be a live-action movie based on Maxine. Who would portray her? My pick would be...

Miss Halle Berry!

Last night, I watched "They Shoot Horses, Don't They?" on DVD. Gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous.

The producers of "They Shoots Horses..." are asking me if they can print my blurb "Gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous" for their film's ad in USA Weekend. My response?

Of course, kind sirs!