I started a new logging job last Tuesday. I work in a big, mirrored building on Ventura. The office is new and it's clean and we get free bagels on Wednesdays and Fridays. All is well in the world.

Through the window in the logging room, I see two large billboards. One's for "Mountain High" (southern California's closest winter resort) and the other's for "Coors Light" (it's beer that you can drink).

Over the weekend, they changed the "Coors Light" billboard while I was away. Before, the Coors Light can was a silver bullet. Now, it's a bottle whose top smokes like a gun. Somewhere, a werewolf is dying.

I think Van Helsing owns stock in Coors Light.

And Indiana Jones has money in Shell Oil.

And Robocop bought a fish sandwich at Burger King.

Which was ice-cold. His friends urged him to get a refund, but Robocop shrugged (in his usual state of resignation) and said, "Maybe Rococop deserves this. I did kill all those people, after all."