Monday, January 31, 2005

P.R.

These two letters, ladies and gentle-mints, are my initials. The "R" is for "Rust" and the "P," of course, is for "Pauly Dangerfield."

But what else does "P.R." stand for? And more importantly, how does it relate to my overall personality?

Most commonly, P.R. stands for "Public Relations." True to my initials, I engage in a "public relations"-like attitude when I'm onstage performing. For it is here where I PUBLICALLY RELATE with the audience. I share jokes (AKA "laffers") and to a greater extent, my all-encompassing wisdom (AKA "laffer-taffers").

Second most commonly, P.R. stands for "Punk Rock." THIS IS WHERE MY NAME MOST MATCHES MY INITIALS! FOR SERIOUS!!! I am at my most punk rock when I employ another set of initials: D.I.Y. (AKA "Do It Yourself").

NOTE: It is also "Punk Rock" to incorrectly refer to abbreviations as a "set of initials."

Finally, if you take my full name, Paul Robert Rust, you get the initials... P.R.R. This, as we all know, is the sound a kitty makes when it is satisfied. Purrrrr. It is also linked with sexiness (i.e. people on TV make purring sounds when they want to kiss each other... or so is my understanding). CORRECTION! THIS IS WHERE MY NAME MOST MATCHES MY INITIALS! Not only am I a satisfied cat, but I'm also very, very, very sexy.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get my pictures taken for a photo-spread in Play-cat (feline variation on Playboy). And Cat-house (feline variation on Penthouse). And Cat-cat (feline variation on Playgirl).

Seacrest... Meow-t!

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