Last Sunday, I went to Universal Studios with some of my buddies/homies/gents. Here were some of the rides, which allowed us to live the movies:

1. REVENGE OF THE MUMMY: THE RIDE
An awesome roller-coaster "dark-ride," which travels forwards (then BACKWARDS!), finally culminating with your "eternal death." I now eagerly await the upcoming REVENGE OF THE NERDS: THE RIDE, in which you must install a sorority spy-cam and later drown John Goodman in a YMCA pool.

2. WATERWORLD
A stunt extravangza with jet-skis and fireballs! We sat in the "SOAK SEATS" (next to an 11 year-old girl wearing an Ozzfest t-shirt). By the end of the show, we wuz drenched! And believe me, folks: wetter... is better! (Although I'm sure Johnny Goodman would disagree!)

3. A SEVEN YEAR-OLD GIRL TALKING ON A CELL-PHONE AND CRYING
You heard it here first!


And like I had planned over one year ago, I purchased a SEASON PASS to Universal Studios as well. This promises a new adventure every weekend! And all but guarantees I will meet no one of the opposite sex for one more year!

RIP John "Drowning Victim" Goodman: 1952-2004.
We'll miss you, Robert Drown-y, Jr!