Seven hours ago, I peed into a cup.
And no, it's not because I went to Dairy Queen (slogan: "Where You Have to Pee in a Cup to Eat a Blizzard").
I was takin' a drug test!
And no, it's not because my parents smelled morphine on my breath and are forcing me to prove my sobriety.
I got a job!
Job? Drug test? Breath? What're you talkin' 'bout, Paul?!
You see, when you become an employee at SUPER WAL-MART, you have to take a drug test.
That's right. Yours truly is now an employee of Super Wal-Mart Incorporated, Inc. I will be working in the hardware department - sellin' wrenches and mixin' paint.
That is, of course, if I don't fail my drug test.
Which I won't.
Because I gave it my all!
Coach says I could go to State.