When there's nothing to say...
Say it in a survey!
01: grab the book nearest to you. turn to page 18, find line 4. write down here what it says : "SOMETIMES IT IS FRUSTRATING TO ME THAT I GET CREDIT FOR WHAT THEY, IN FACT, DO."
02: stretch your left arm out as far as you can. what do you touch first? : A COUCH CUSHION (I USE IT SO MY MARCHING BAND DRUMS DON'T SCRATCH THE BACK OF MY NECK)
03: what is the last thing you watched on TV? : "CHEERS" (FRASIER CRANE WAS DATING A THIN JENNIFER TILLY)
04: without looking, guess what the time is : 1:03AM
05: now look at the clock, what is the actual time? : 12:57AM
06: with the exception of the computer, what can you hear? : A ROGAINE COMMERCIAL ON MY TV (BUT GET THIS - IT'S FOR CHICKS! NOT FELLERS!)
07: when did you last step outside? what were you doing? : I WAS WALKING HOME FROM A T.W.E.A.N. (TOTALLY.WEDNESDAY.EVENINGS.AT.NINE) SCREENING OF "HUMANOIDS FROM THE DEEP" (I'VE SEEN THREE MOVIES WITH VIC MORROW AND IN EACH ONE, HE PLAYS A MEAN-SPIRITED RACIST - CAN YOU NAME THE OTHER TWO?)
08: before you came to this website, what did you look at? : IMDB.COM - READING ABOUT "HUMANOIDS FROM THE DEEP" (THIS IS HOW YOU LEARN ABOUT THE MOVIES YOU'VE WATCHED)
09: what are you wearing? : THIS IS ALWAYS THE MOST BORING QUESTION IN SURVEYS! (GREEN SHIRT. GREY SHORTY-SHORTS. HAPPY?)
10: did you dream last night? what about? : I WAS UP FOR 27 HOURS AND TOOK A 2-HOUR NAP YESTERDAY - NO TIME FOR DREAMIN'!
11: when did you last laugh? why? : CONAN MADE A JOKE ABOUT PROTECTING HIMSELF FROM THE SUN BY WEARING A WOMAN'S DRESS
12: what is on the walls of the room you are in?: A DRAWING OF A COBRA PUSHING THROUGH A YIN-YANG (MY FRIENDS FOUND IT ON THE GROUND - I'M ASSUMING SOMEBODY BRILLIANT DREW IT)
13: seen anything weird lately? : OH, BROTHER!
14: what do you think of this quiz? : I LOVE IT!
15: what is the last film you saw? : GEEEEZE! I SAID, "HUMANOIDS OF THE DEEP!" IT'S LIKE YOU DON'T EVEN LISTEN TO ME ANYMORE, SURVEY-BLOGGY!
16: if you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first?: JACK BROWN FOR MY SON, ERIC BATES
17: tell me something about you that I don't know: YOU... YOU MEAN A LOT TO ME, SURVEY-BLOGGY
18: if you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?: "CROSSING JORDAN" FIVE NIGHTS A WEEK!!!
19: do you like to dance? : DOES THIS ANSWER YOUR QUESTION? (THEN I FART)
20: George Bush : WHY'D HE PUKE ON THAT JAPANESE GUY?! GROSSSSS!
21: imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?: NOT A BOY!!!
22: imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?: HEIR TO MY RICHES!!!
23: would you ever consider living abroad?: LIVING ABROAD? NO. KISSING A BROAD? DOUBLE NO! MARRYING A BROAD AND MAKING HER THE HAPPIEST WOMAN IN THE WORLD? HOT DAMN!
24: will you pass on this survey?: I'LL MAKE A PASS ON THIS SURVEY. SHE'S F-F-FINE IN THAT SUNDRESS!
You're getting better everyday!