Tuesday, April 27, 2004

I've been asked to give the "honored guest speech" at my high school's 2004 graduation ceremony. It's for the class that was in 8th grade when I was a senior in high school. So that's pretty cool.

I've been trying to think of speeches I can give. One of them would open with: "Hey, kids. We're gonna' be a little dangerous here. How 'bout some impressions of your teachers?!" And then I'd do scathing impressions of high school teachers... that only I had and they didn't. Take that, Mrs. Harvey!

Or maybe I'll just give Rodney Dangerfield's closing graduation remarks from Alan Metter's "Back to School" (1986).

If that was the case, then it would also be the audience's first time they saw boobs and heard the f-word. Cuz... you know... that movie was my first time for those things.

And Chris Stangl's. At least with the boobs. I'm not sure about the f-word.

No. Wait. The first time Chris heard the f-word in a movie was "House of Sand and Fog."

And he cried until the ending credits.

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