Monday, September 15, 2003

On Saturday, I shot some footage for a project in my Advanced Video class. We have to make a "fake self-portrait." I decided to do one where I sit with my girlriend and I talk about how much we are in love. However, as the video progresses, it gradually becomes clear that she is not into the relationship as much as me. And I try to get her enthused.

I, of course, had to ask someone to portray my girlfriend since... you know, I don't have a girlfriend. Her name was Erin - a girl I somewhat knew. But I didn't know her a whole lot, which was good because it added to her awkwardness and discomfort onscreen portraying a disinterested girlfriend. She did a really great job.

This project really appeals to me because lately the thing I've been most fascinated by is people's desire to create/control experiences/feelings/emotions. And since love is arguably one of the most rewarding of spontaneous emotions, it's funny to think that you could force it. But people try.

I mean, I'm sure we've all been in relationships where either: A) we're into the relationship more than the partner or B) the partner's into it more than we are. And I think there's probably a lot of convincing and manipulating and coercing and kidding yourself that goes into that.

"Kidding yourself" along with "People trying to be liked" are the two major ideas that EVERYTHING I'VE EVER DONE has been based on. It's true.

In the end, Satuday's shooting was one of the most fun and satisfying experiences I've had in my short time as a video-maker. It was loose and improvisational and really allowed a sort of freedom.

Also, it was about me - a subject I'm so in love with - as evidenced by these blogs.

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