Saturday, July 19, 2003

I'm freaking out about the movie.

I feel like I still got so much to shoot and so little time.

And I haven't been editing as much as I should.

And I'm unhappy with the footage. Turns out the wide-angle lense that I thought would make my movie look better actually makes it look worse. All foggy and distorted.

And I realized that I'm in every scene of the movie.

Every scene.

That's draining enough as an actor, but for a writer and director and editor and crew member as well? Jesus. That's rough.

For example, when I'm acting in a scene, I'm not really "acting." My mind's still split into other roles. I'm trying to suit my performance to my writing sensibility (is the performance working thematically?), my directing sensibility (is the performance working tonally?), and my crew sensibility (is the performance technically sound - not going out of frame, continuous for editing?).

So, in the end, I'm giving a bad performance... which makes everything fall flat anyhow.

I took on too much and now I'm paying the price.

I'm going to Omaha tomorrow for a couple days to visit friends and watch The Eels in concert. Maybe the rest will do me good.

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