Wednesday, June 30, 2004

Reading strangers' blogs again...

I came across a feller's blog and I think he is sad. I genuinely feel bad about this. I've decided to copy his last post (in italics) to my blog and add my own comments (in non-italics) on how he should be happy. Perhaps, someday, his blog will meet my blog and... no one will ever be sad again.

Until then...

A few things I know about myself.

1) I hate myself more than I hate any other person
More than Pol Pot even? Sure, he's a good dancer and a decent swimmer, but I think one Orlando vacation with ol' Pol "I Always Pick Where We Eat" Pot would set you straight.

2) Lonliness is a thing I hold close to my heart.
I think Plato said it best: "He who mis-spells loneliness is never truly lonely." And that's Dana Plato by the way.

3) My happiness is fleeting, and others will easily sacrifice my happiness to gain their own.
To avoid fleeting, "happiness" should be stored in an air-tight, underground vault - along with "joy" and "love." Smothering may occur.

4) Love is a joke, my love is a joke
And who delivers this joke most frequently? Funny-woman Elayne Boosler.

5) I'm in a constant search for something that I have not found, and will never know if I've found it until it's too late.
Whenever I can't find my shoes, I say to my mom, "Mom, where are my shoes?" And she says, "Well, the last time I wore them..." - as if to say, "I don't wear your shoes, Paul. Figure it out yourself."
Awwww, mom!

6) Late at night I feel worthless.
"Full House" eases the pain.

7) Today was a shitty shitty day.
Aye yes, laddy, but tomorrow... she'll be a beauty!

8) I'm going to have more of number "7"
Let's hope "7" is an ice-cream sundae!

9) I like being intoxicated, a lot, just because... it's an escape
Drinking alcohol is like drinking Gatorade - you don't want to do it too much or you won't have enough to throw on the coach!

10) I will never escape my fate, I will never know lasting happiness.
Not with that kind of attitude you won't, mister!

Cheer up, friends, loved ones, and strangers. Gorgeous days lie ahead.

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