Cuz you were getting sick of reading about my movie...


FIRSTS

First job: Hy-Vee Food Store (stockin' shelves, sackin' groceries, witnessin' the full extent of LeMars' have-and-have-not's every Sunday morning)

First screen name: Bananafish (that's right, fellow ICQ users, i'm a J.D. Salinger fan! makes me pretty cool, doesn't it?)

First funeral: my cousin Andy's grandpa (not our shared grandpa, mind you, but the one i was unrelated to - when they fired guns in the cemetary, it scared the shit out of me)

First pet: Joe (black lab - gave away for tearing up our yard - got killed on a farm and didn't find out until months later)

First piercing/tattoo: None (my body is my temple!)

First credit card: For those in the know, a "credit card" is when you slide your hand between somebody's butt-cheeks. In this sense, I have had over 500 credit cards.

First Kiss: On a grassy hill with Carissa Campbell (age 5 - i recall asking her if she wanted "to park" because i had just seen it done on "Back to the Future")

First Kiss that mattered: On a basement couch with Jill during "Edward Scissorhands" (age 15 - August 1996 - she had to ask me, "Do you want to kiss me?" i'm so bashful!)

First love: aforementioned Jill (summer 1997 - i tell her "I love her" on her backyard swing - i believe the phrasing was, "Becaue... you know... I... I do love you")

First enemy: Nixon!

First big trip: Florida 1988 (on the airplane, i am shocked when father refers to orange juice in the super-cool fashion of "OJ")

First concert: Smashing Pumpkins w/ opening band Fountains of Wayne (January 1997 - enforced seating requires friends and i to "rock out" by hopping in one place)

First musician you remember hearing in your house: Billy Joel's "Uptown Girl" (radio on top of the fridge while mom's in the bathroom)


LASTS

Last car ride: Sunday afternoon (went to Wendy's with Michele, ate a burger)

Last kiss: Your ass (circa 1987)

Last library book checked out: The Bristish Filim Institute books for "Eyes Wide Shut," "Blue Velvet," and "Jaws" (did you know that "Jaws" is about the struggle between text and subtext? of course, you did. that's why it scared you so much)

Last movie watched: "Superman 3" (robot-lady will kill you)

Last food consumed: Cod sandwich (not to be confused with famed Olympic swimmer Todd Grandwich)

Last phone call: DJ Ruden in Cedar Rapids, Iowa (will we go to "The Ladykillers" tomorrow? onlytomorrow's bloggy knows for sure!)

Last CD played: Bright Eyes' "Fevers and Mirrors" (tony bright-eyes is sad! he said so in this album!)

Last soda drank: Coca-Cola Classic (i heard they used to put Ecstacy in it)

Last ice cream eaten: A Reese's Peanut Butter Cup Blizzard (every word must be capitalized)

Last shirt worn: white t-shirt i've worn since Tuesday when I last showered (it's so filthy, it's off-white)

Last website visited: Moviefone.com (formerly "movieponyexpress.com")


NOW

1) Sex: Man, goddamit!
2) Birthday: 4/12/81 (happy birthday, claire daines!)
3) Sign: Aries (sign of the carrot)
4) Siblings: Amy Leigh and Anne Marie (they fight crime together)
5) Hair color: Brown-town
6) Eye color: Deep Blue Something
7) Shoe size: the width of your ass!
8) Height: 11''3'

RIGHT NOW, WHAT ARE YOU

1) Wearing: Velcro shoes, stinky socks, green cargo shorts, and that aforementioned filth-white t-shirt
2) Drinking: Water
3) Thinking about: what i should title tonight's No Shame piece ("Los Puentes" or "October 26th, 1985?")
4) Listening to: Travis' "The Man Who"
5) Watching: a bird lay an egg on my couch
6) Feeling: itchy head, greasy hair
7) Wanting: for this entry to end! geeeeeze!