On Monday, January 5th, 2004, the following happened...

1. I was in a McDonald's where a female employee asked her three fellow female employees, "Do you know what I did today?" They said nothing. Taking this as a firm "YES," the employee began to share the events of her day. Somewhere between "after I got home from school today..." and "... I didn't take a nap," her co-workers started to disperse and talk amongst themselves, totally ignoring her. I mean, they flat-out quit listening to her. Despite this, she kept talking and talking... but eventually, around the 2nd-minute mark, she realized their negligence and quit sharing the day's events. I watched it all. It made me uncomfortable.

2. In a movie theatre with my dad, it occured to me that I will be the first male Rust to ever graduate from college. Cuz neither my dad, nor my uncles, nor my older male cousins, ever did. I'm breaking Rust Family ground... with my mortar board and fist!

3. This morning, I was shaving my face in the bathroom. Naked. My sister Amy (outside of the bathroom) told me I need to hurry up. I said, "Okay." A moment passed. And then I farted. Because I was naked, the fart was able to make a more audible sound. The interesting thing is... the fart matched the same tone, pitch, and timbre of my sister's voice, so I thought she said something else to me. Even though I clearly felt the fart come out of my butt, I thought it was my sister talking instead. Then I paused. And I let my senses come back to me. And then I realized... Paul, it was a fart, not a sister.

One more time:

It was a fart, not a sister.