For the purposes of not sounding pretensious, I will be referring to the artistic things I do (music, writing, video) as "my stuff" - rather than, you know, "my art" or even better... "my life!"

For a long while, I often wanted "my stuff" to fit this description: "If it were having sex, it wouldn't know what to do." You know, like really confused and awkward and weird. I don't know. I thought that'd be neat.

But lately... I've come to realize that "my stuff" better fits this description: "It doesn't get laid. At all. Whatsoever." Seriously. I thought about it yesterday. All "my stuff" is really uptight and controlled and... lacking joy... or better yet... it's just sad and lonely. There's no opportunity for unexpectedness - at least, fun unexepectedness. "My stuff" has his top-button buttoned and his hair combed tight across his head. He's standing in the corner at the high school dance.

I don't know if this is good. I think it'd be neat if "my stuff" got laid once in awhile. It could be loose and free. Have his shirt untucked and grow out his hair. Walk a little easier down the street.

So tonight, I'm going to take my movie out and buy him a prostitute.