I saw all these movies from 2005! And I ranked them in the order that I liked them! Read it and weep, Roeper (of the Ebert and Roeper syndicated TV show).
28. THE CORPSE BRIDE
27. WHITE NOISE
Not based on the popular Don DeLillo novel, but rather, two subpar Amelia Bedelia books. "I didn't want you to LITERALLY draw the curtains, Michael Keaton!"
25. THE INTERPRETER
24. INSIDE DEEP THROAT
23. KICKING AND SCREAMING
Sure, there was kicking. I mean, it's a movie about soccer. But there wasn't much screaming outside of Will Ferrel's character who --- oh, I get it!
21. LAND OF THE DEAD
20. STAR WARS: EPISODE III - REVENGE OF THE SITH
19. CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY
Reminds me of the day I visited the Chesterman Coca-Cola factory in Sioux City, Iowa. Except in this movie, the employees didn't pour 7-UP on Charlie's head and write racist words on his t-shirt.
18. FUN WITH DICK AND JANE
17. WALK THE LINE
16. HIGH TENSION
15. BATMAN BEGINS
In this movie, we learn that Bruce Wayne based his name "Batman" on a childhood fear. In that case, my superhero name would be "Deep Freezer in the Basement-Man."
13. GOOD NIGHT, AND GOOD LUCK.
12. HITCHHIKER'S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY
11. THE WEDDING CRASHERS
These fellas need to learn one important rule: once you leave the reception, you can't come back in. Even if you're just getting something out of your car. Rules are rules, boys.
9. KISS KISS BANG BANG
8. WAR OF THE WORLDS
7. BROKEN FLOWERS
6. HARRY POTTER AND THE GOBLET OF FIRE
In the movie theatre, I sat to the right of two teenage girls. When Daniel Radcliffe took off his shirt in one scene, I heard the following:
TEENAGE GIRL #1: Uh... wow.
TEENAGE GIRL #2: Yeaaaah.
These are your children, America!
4. BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN
3. THE 40-YEAR-OLD VIRGIN
2. KING KONG
I thought he said ping-pong balls.
1. THE SQUID AND THE WHALE
THE CELEBRITY CITED LIST:
66. Jane Seymour (Monday, January 2nd, 2006)
67. Stuart Charno (Thursday, January 12th, 2006)
68. Chloe Sevigny (Saturday, December 14th, 20006)
Seymour at LAX. Charno at a commercial audition for Skittles. Sevigny coming out of a bar. I'm getting tired of doing this list.