2005: A Survey For The New Millenium!
1. What did you do in 2005 that you'd never done before?
Took an intergalatic ride through the stars... courtesy of the newly-revamped Space Mountain in Disneyland!
2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I had no resolutions for 2005. But my resolution for 2006? KEEP SHININ' ON! (senior quote)
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
My friend Rick Herbst rented a VHS copy of the movie "Birth." It's a lot like regular birth, but with one benefit: no dirty diapers!
4. Did anyone close to you die?
The one man who gave me my first break in the biz: Mr. Johnny Carson. Thanks, Johnny.
5. What would you like to have in 2006 that you lacked in 2005?
A record deal with Maverick. Excuse me. A BETTER record deal with Maverick.
6. What dates from 2005 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
a) July 27th, 2005
b) October 17th, 2005
c) December 7th, 1941
7. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Putting on neat comedy shows. Getting acting and writing jobs. And my joke about "Birth."
8. What was your biggest failure?
Behaving thoughtlessly. And "The Capeman."
9. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I was just about to write "No," but then I chipped my tooth on the computer monitor.
10. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Michael Moore for that brave, brave film of his - "Farenheit 9/11." Watch your back next November, President Bush!
11. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Bart Simpson. Such a rude, little boy.
12. Where did most of your money go?
Bills, food, and movie tickets. Sorry. Typo. I meant to write: "Bill's food and movie tickets." Boy, does Bill Laimbeer love his chicken nuggets and "Walk the Line!"
13. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Movies (sometimes referred to as "Mooovies.")
14. What song will always remind you of 2005?
"Sister Jack" by Spoon!
15. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder?
Happier! Take that, "sadder!"
b) thinner or fatter?
The same. Thatter.
c) richer or poorer?
16. What do you wish you'd done more of?
17. What do you wish you'd done less of?
18. How did you spend Christmas?
19. Did you fall in love in 2005?
No. But I'm dating someone special. And although it might not be "love" right now, it is a powerful bond that I cherish more and more with each passing day. Who's your "someone special?" Call them today, won't you?
20. What was your favorite TV program?
21. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Bart Simpson. Seriously. Somebody discipline this kid! I'm looking at you, Homer and Marge.
22. What was the best book you read?
"Easy Riders, Raging Bulls."
23. What was your greatest musical discovery?
The Go! Team (thanks, Pash!)
24. What did you want and get?
What did I want? What everybody wants... The American Dream, of course. Did I get it? Uh-huh. Do I regret it? Hell yes.
25. What did you want and not get?
Ever heard of The Titanic? Ever heard of RAISING the son-of-a-bitch?
26. What was your favorite film of this year?
"The Squid and the Whale."
27. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
My friends and I ate at Bob's Big Boy and watched "Pee Wee's Big Adventure." I turned 24 (just like that TV show with Kiefer Sutherland on FOX-TV).
28. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
A TV series based on "Fox Trot."
29. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004?
"Rad Boy/Bad Boy."
30. What kept you sane?
31. What political issue stirred you the most?
"Are Video Games Harming Our Children?"
32. Who did you miss?
Niles Crane. Bring back "Frasier," NBC!!!
33. Who was the best new person you met?
Choosing favorites is your job, Roosevelt. Not mine!
34. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2005:
It's probably lame to do this, but I heard this in "Broken Flowers" recently and it made me happy. Maybe you'll like it, too?
"Well, the past is gone, I know that. The future isn't here yet, whatever it's going to be. So, all there is, is this. The present. That's it."