Yesterday, my friend Ellen emailed "Daily Iowan" columnist Drew Bixby. I found it amusing, so Ellen's letting me post it in my weblog. Enjoy:
Stop writing. I'm the 6477729 person to tell you so. Stop posing with
puppies. Put on a shirt. Shirts with a girl's initials are not as stupid as
your articles. I'm your BIGGEST critic. I love critics! They tell me what
I'm doing good and bad. You are bad. Stop doing what you do. Improve. Then
maybe write (that's me being constructive). You are inflamatory, but not in
the way you ever intend to be. You are NOT as attractive as you think.
Puppies do not make you cute either.
Improve or stop.
Stop angering masochistic people.
A Reluctant reader,
The "masochistic people" line is a reference to our friend Adam - who continually reads Drew Bixby's columns, knowing full well that they will anger him greatly.
Afterwards, Ellen put the screw back in my glasses and fixed 'em good.
Friends are nice.