"May Day" is tomorrow, which if you remember, is that special day when we leave baskets of candy on people's doorsteps, ring their doorbells, and run away. If we get caught, we get kissed.

Call me wily (Pauly T. Wily), but I got a few tricks up my sleeve for this year's "May Day."

Yeah, I'm gonna' leave some baskets of candy on some doorsteps. And sure, I'm gonna' ring some doorbells. And hell yes, I will run away - but just one catch: I'm gonna' run away reeaaaaal slow. I'll surely be caught!

You see, I wanna' be kissed!!!

And I won't be leaving baskets of candy on no ugly folks' doorsteps. No, no, no. Only the hottest babes will be visited by me on this "May Day." Have you forgotten I live in Los Angeles (AKA "The City of the Hottest Babes")?

So who will be getting surprise visits from Pauly T. Wily on May Day? How 'bout Cindy Crawford? Ever heard of her? Oh yeeeeaaah! I know she has a husband, but she's Fair Game in my book!

Then I'll take a little stroll around Kathy Ireland's neighborhood. Aye-chi-mama! What a hot tamale! I hear Ms. Ireland likes to kiss a little rough. Yes, her kissing requires some Necessary Roughness.

And last, but CERTAINLY NOT LEAST... Miss Bo Derek. On a scale of 1 to 10, she's a total... Bolero!

Yep, all three of those babes are gonna' have their lipstick on my cheeks... and the lipstick will be in the shape of their lips!

May Day Forever! (May 1, 2006 - Forever)

Sorry, folks. I'm retiring my Celebrity Cited list. It got to be a burden - seeing a celebrity and then feeling obligated to remember him/her. Took the fun out of it, y'know? I knew it got bad when I saw a guy from Alias and I turned my head, pretending I hadn't seen him.

For those who are interested though... a couple of the celebs I saw in the interim: Zach De La Rocha eating salad and Corey Feldman having lunch in Toluca Lake.

Don't worry! This blog will still continue. I'm gonna' try to be better about updating, too. Now that I've said it, I'll be forced to do it. Gotta' be true to my word.

Love Always,
Paul

Written and Performed by Neil Campbell and Paul Rust
Directed by Owen Burke

Two teenage brothers run away from home and discover a valuable lesson:
Sometimes growing up ... doesn't involve any actual physical growth at all.

FRIDAY, APRIL 14
8:00 PM
$8
(with Derek Waters The Show)

reserve your tickets here!

UCB Theatre - LA
5919 Franklin Ave
Hollywood, 90028
(323) 908-8702