That's The Way The Cookie Crumbles... In My Mouth!

My mother sent me Christmas cookies! In the mail!

The parcel included:

1) CHOCOLATE STAR COOKIES
Sure, you knew the chocolate star in the center would taste good, but then this woman (my mother) actually goes out of her way to make the surrounding cookie taste even better. It's like going to see the Stones play the Staples Center and finding out Beethoven's opening for them!

2) CLASSIC CHRISTMAS-TREE COOKIES
There's a reason scientists call these "classic." Because they're deeeeeee-licious (TM)! When I eat 'em, I imagine myself as a massive giant feasting on ever-greens. Hey, if I eat enough of them, I may get my wish! From these lips to these hips, you-know-what-I'm-a-sayin'?

3) CHOCOLATE-COVERED PEANUT CLUSTERS
My sweet tooth thanks you, mother!

But let us not forget about Poppa Bear! It's Bob's birthday today! Happy Birthday, dad! Blow out all the candles for ol' Pauly, will ya?