Walt Disney is my new best friend!

While checking his "producer filmography" on the Internet's Database for Movies and More.Com, I got to read all the awesome titles he's been behind. Here are just some of my favorites:

1. It's Tough to Be a Bird
I hope this is a warts-and-all documentary which delves into Larry Bird's grueling experience while filming the "Nuthin', But Net" McDonald's commercials with Michael Jordan.

2. Charlie, the Lonesome Cougar
True story: In sixth grade, a foreign-exchange student from Brazil gave me the nickname "Cougar." However, I was neither lonesome - nor Charlie.

3. Monkeys, Go Home!
Should I sue Walt Disney for making a movie about what I say when my relatives visit? Take that, Uncle Mike!

4. Follow Me, Boys!
Should I sue Walt Disney for making a movie about what I say to high-school basketball teams outisde Godfather's Pizza after they win the big, championship game?

5. Freewayphobia #1
You know, there's another movie title that better describes my fear of highways... it's called "Rush Hour!" Yikes!

6. Miracle of the White Stallions
Here's the backstory on this title...
AMERICAN POPULATION: Hey, Mr. Disney!
WALT DISNEY: ...Yes?
AMERICAN POPULATION: Can we please have a movie title that proves you have never been laid?

7. Aquamania
Aquamania had two sequels: Towel-mania and Hairdryer-mania. Gouche!

8. Donald Duck and His Companions
Everyone at the family reunion knew that Donald's guests were much more than "companions." They were his best friends!


Today, to keep my mind occupied while making shelves look pretty at Wal-Mart, I came up with two parody songs. The original titles are modified, so you know how I deliciously satirized them. They were:

1. Neil Diamond's "They're Coming to America"
became...
Paul Rust's "They're Renting 'Pre-hysteria'"

and

2. The Tornados' "Do the Locomotion with Me"
became...
Paul Rust's "Share the Calamine Lotion with Me"

Eat your heart out, Weird Al!