KEEP COUNT WITH YOUR FRIENDS...

FAILED JOKE AT SUPER WAL-MART #5 (OF A PROJECTED #478):

Yesterday at "Orientation," a lady's giving a tour to me and a few other future employees. She shows us a bulletin board in the back-room of Super Wal-Mart, which displays competitor prices as well as photographs of these competitors' buildings. As you can guess, these pictures eerily resemble super-sleuth, spy photos taken by international profesionals - a componenet of Wal-Mart's own private "Project Mayhem."

After we all admire the craftmanship of the board, the tour lady says to us, "This is our comp board." ("comp" apparently code for "competition" or "competitor"). Finally she remarks, "We call these businesses 'comp.' I don't know what you guys call them."

And I said, "Dead. I call 'em dead."

Tour lady looks at me. "What?" Then... she smiles - very, very distantly. "Oh... Yes."

The tour continues.