How long have I had the last name "Rust?" 8 - maybe 10 - years? At the very least, 14.

And all this time, I never once considered the full meaning of my last name...

Until three days ago when it hit me.

Corrosion. Decay. Decomposition.

You, my friends, are "rust."

These, of course, are interesting "last name" synonyms for somone who fetishizes freshly-opened DVD's over crumbling paperbacks and who clutches his youthful vitality in fear of an open casket (AKA beer-guts and interest rates).

Granted, I'm not going to take much stock in a name I happened to be born with, but for someone as self-obsessed as myself, I don't know why it took me so long to consider its ramifications.

Watch Paul Decay Age Behind Glass.