YOU KNOW WHO YOU LOOK LIKE?: A DOPPLEGANGER BLOG

Everyday, throughout the entire world, people are told that they look like celebrities. For instance, ugly, strung-out women on "Candid Camera" proudly report that they look like Cher (and everyone in the studio audience laughs at their lack of self-awareness).

I know! I'll do that, too! Now presenting a brief list of all the celebrities people have told me I resemble:


1. DUSTIN HOFFMAN


This is the one I get most often. People say, "You know who you look like?" I shrug. And they shriek, "You look like Rain Man! Has anybody told you that?! You look like Rain Man!" I nod politely.

SIMILARITIES: In addition to our prominent noses, Dustin Hoffman and I both share a love for parasailing.
DIFFERENCES: Whereas Dustin Hoffman was the loose basis for Danny DeVito's character in Get Shorty, I was the heavy basis for Gene Hackman's character in the same film... as well as Mississippi Burning.


2. EDWARD NORTON


A close second (if these were listed in the frequency of which they were told - which they seemingly are).

SIMILARITIES: Like Edward Norton, I have had sex with Salma Hayek and Courtney Love.
DIFFERENCES: Unlike Edward Norton, I have had sex with both women at the same time.


3. PATRICK DEMPSEY


I was just told this by a co-worker yesterday (specifically, that I "look like the guy from Can't Buy Me Love"). Interesting sidenote: After writing my own David Mows Yards, I realized it combined two Patrick Dempsey movies: the lawnmowing boy of Can't Buy Me Love and the multiple lady-clients of Loverboy. Uh-oh! Lawsuit-time!

SIMILARITIES: In Scream 3, Patrick Dempsey's character says the scariest movie he's ever seen is "My life." I, too, was also scared by the Michael Keaton 1993 cancer-weepie My Life.
DIFFERENCES: There are no differences between me and Patrick Dempsey.


4. DUSTIN DIAMOND (AKA "SCREECH" FROM SAVED BY THE BELL)

5. HENRY WINKLER (AKA "THE FONZ FROM HAPPY DAYS)

NO PICTURES NEEEDED!

A man in Perkin's once told me that I reminded him of Screech (whether this was because of similarity in physicality or behavior, I'm not for sure). Secondly, my friend Chris once told me he saw Happy Days on a TV in a laundromat and The Fonz reminded me of him (obviously, this was a case of behavior and not physicality).

SIMILARITIES: We all have nicknames! "Screech." "The Fonz." And "Ass-Face." I always felt bad that Henry Winkler had the nickname "Ass-Face."
DIFFERENCES: In life, I feel, it is better to focus on the similarities rather than the differences. By pointing out that Screech and The Fonz are white men and I am an African-American woman, nothing is gained.


Well, there's one thing this blog resembled... a good time!

And remember... you heard it here first on: Paul Rust and Leonard Maltin's Hollywood Scoops-and-Snoops.
Stay tuned, cinephiles!