I got a letter from the Dean's Office today. When I saw it, I got super-scared. What did I do? Why am I in trouble? Did they find out my friends and I ding-dong-ditched the President's house a couple weeks ago? (Sidenote: I did and it was awesome!)

Then I opened the envelope and was greeted with some nice news...

Because I'm "earning the bachelor's degree wtih High Distinction," I've been asked if I'd be willing to give a 5-minute speech at the Commencement/Graduation ceremony at the Carver-Hawkeye Arena on May 15th. If I respond "yes," I'm supposed to include a list of my "special academic experiences," a letter of recommendation, and a rough draft of my potential speech. Then, a five-member committee will choose the student speaker from among these students who were willing to be considered.

So... I have to be chosen and admittedly, there's a pretty strong chance that I won't be, but... it's still nice to be nominated.

It'd be cool if I got it though - mainly because my parents, sisters, niece, grandma and sister's boyfriend are coming to the ceremony and it'd be nice to have them watch me do something (as opposed to just walking across the stage). Plus, you know, it's a nice honor.

This means... I have to come up with a speech to hand in. I've got some ideas on what I want it to be. I want it to be funny without being irreverent. And I want it to be uplighting without being saccharine. But this is difficult since everything I've written for an audience within the last four years has been subversive and downbeat.

I know. I'll just copy Winona Ryder's graduation speech from "Reality Bites."

And then deliver her "My mom's a mermaid!" monologue from "Mermaids."

Don't tell anyone though. This is our little secret - between you, me, and the Mermaid-mom.