KINDERGARTEN
When my name's called at role call, I hide underneath my desk and say, "Not here!" Class eats it up. Thank you.
FIRST GRADE
Above the drinking fountain, there's a Xerox-ed advertisement for Police Academy 6: City Under Siege, which the local movie theater has mysteriously taped to the wall. Weird? Not at all. It's called "viral marketing," folks!
SECOND GRADE
Teacher scolds me for misbehaving in class. I apologize by drawing her a picture of me crying. (This is basically how I apologize to people for the next 17 years)
THIRD GRADE
Teacher's son returns home from war in Iraq and visits our class to answer all our questions. Yes, he did know my friend Rick's sister in high school!
FOURTH GRADE
Female classmate brings father's nude playing cards to school and hides them in her locker. You can look at 'em, if you ask.
FIFTH GRADE
Dead bat found in aquarium.
SIXTH GRADE
Teacher always - always - says "approximate" when giving us the running times for videos we watch in class. Always. Weird.
SEVENTH GRADE
Over summer vacation, I enter puberty. I want my classmates (especially the girls) to know, but that's not something you can announce. Then on the first day of school, teacher says in front of entire class, "Paul, you look different." Yay, she did it for me!
EIGHTH GRADE
I return from Christmas break with a new haircut. It's one of those "Caesar cuts" like that guy from ER. I'm hot shit!
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3 comments:
of course he knew your friend rick's sister... i mean, she was on homecoming royalty.
do your research next time, 3rd grade paul.
7th Grade-As I am being picked up from school by my mother...Diana Bostic's brother, Randall Bostic, shouts out "Jump Willy Jump," as I get into the car. It was the day my mom found out I wasn't cool and the same day that it was publically acknowledged that I was overweight.
Good times for growing up. Let's work on a "Growing Up" sketch together.
-Ashley
I forgot to mention, I could be reached here.
ashleyaguirre.wordpress.com
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