October 27th, 2005 was:

1. The 10th birthday of my niece Alexis.
2. The 10th anniversary of my first official theatre performance

Yes. On the night of October 27th, 1995, my hometown was treated to both the birth of Li'l Alexis and the opening night of "Lost in Yonkers" at the community theatre. In fact, Alexis was born while I was onstage. When the play got out, I found out I was an uncle.

And so began my illustrious LeMars, Iowa theatre career. Join me as I look back, won't you?**

**(But only at the full-length plays. None of that 10-minute or one-act bullshit!)

LEMARS THEATER CAREER!!!

1. LOST IN YONKERS (OCTOBER 1995)
Neil Simon chronicles his childhood experiences in this Tony award-winning play. I portray young Artie. Will this be the first time I play a Jewish character onstage? Yes. Will it be my last? Oy vey, no!

2. OZ! (SUMMER 1996)
Remember all your favorite songs from The Wizard of Oz? Well, forget them as you watch The Kaleidoscope Kids Children's Theatre production of "Oz," a musical with a far less expensive copyright. As The Cowardly Lion, I sing such "classic" songs as "I'm Just a Lion" and "Public Domain #1." Still, a fun way to spend the summer.

3. GATEWAY OR: LEMARS IS BORN (FEBRUARY 1997)
I do double duty as both "TOWNSFOLK" and "INDIAN #2" in this rousing musical about my small town's history. One month later in Chicago, my sister Amy and I attend a screening of Waiting for Guffman, a mockumentary on... a rousing musical about a small town's history. Not since Eraser did a movie mirror my life so well!

4. ANNIE (SRPING 1997)
Double duty part 2. In one scene, I'm a hobo in a Hooverville. In another scene, I'm a radio DJ. What is this? The Story of Paul Harvey?!!

5. CHILDREN OF EDEN (SUMMER 1997)
An epic musical based on the Book of Genesis. Who did I play? Let's just say I was "ready, willing, and ABEL" to play the part. That's right. I was the mischevious "Skimbleshanks the Railway Cat!"

6. THE CLUMSY CUSTARD HORROR SHOW (SPRING 1998)
You'd think that after 5 plays, I would have established myself as Le Mars' own Larry Olivier, but... nope. Here I am - small role (a knight) with only one line. Fortunately, I delivered the line like a gay man. Historically accurate.

7. JESUS CHRIST: SUPERSTAR (SUMMER 1998
The summer musical to end all summer musicals. A cast of 50. Massive sets. A full orchestra. Huge, huge, huge. And as if that wasn't enough, we apostles get to eat Pita bread during the Last Supper scene!

8. WEST OF PECOS (SPRING 1999)
Apparently, when it comes to school spring plays, I prefer the highly sophisticated acting choices of "fey" and "kinda queer." In this western-themed play, I give the "Deputy" character a lisp and an effeminate posture. I like to think, however, that I've branched out from such behavior. (NOTE: Come to "Before They Were Giants" this Friday at the UCB Theatre and see me play Steven Spielberg as a fey man with a lisp).

9. ALONE TOGETHER (SPRING 1999)
Was this even the title of the play? I can't remember. If you were in this, email me and give me the title.

10. ONCE UPON A MATTRESS (SUMMER 1999)
After innumerable Google image searches, I can safely say that there are no photos of me wearing a jester outfit. At least, not on the Internet. My scrap-book is a different story, people!!!


And then this...

THE CELEBRITY CITED LIST:
55. Elijah Wood (Saturday, October 15th, 2005)

Ellen, Adam, and I spotted this "Good Son" outside the Arclight movie theatre... getting approached by a nerd. You know the nerd had to be grilling him about The Ice Storm.